Festival Internacional de Benicassim

After the NME oh-so-lovingly described Benicassim as a car-park plagued with technical problems, you'd be forgiven for writing off this fiesta, but wiser people will tell you that el FIB is secretly one of the best festivals around.

Firstly, there’s no mud. Sure, by the end of the weekend you'll be covered in beer, sweat and urine, but no mud is still a blessing. There's also sun, meaning you can get a tan, frolic in the sea and wear a bikini at 2am...although you do run the risk of being accosted by loco Spaniards.

What's more, Beni is still relatively undiscovered. Unlike at Reading with it's 80,000 strong crowds, the tents are roughly the same size as the Brixton Academy, so you never feel like there are too many people around and there's little risk of losing your tent - unless you've had a bit too much Heineken!

As for the main ingredient of a festival, Benicassim certainly doesn’t lack quality bands. This year’s festival darlings Kings Of Leon were the surprise hit, leaving the Spaniards spellbound. Headliners included Arctic Monkeys and the ever-impressive Muse, who blew everyone away, playing their most loved hits. Klaxons and CSS created chaotic raving, Amy Winehouse stunned everyone by turning up, and we all fell in love with Rufus Wainwright.

When the bands finish around 3am, you can enjoy a paella and party until the sun rises in the dance tent. Benicassim is the best of both worlds, a holiday and a festival in one - an incredible, unmissable experience.

Glasswerk.co.uk Presents...@ Turnmills, 15 August 2007

Short and sweet review today.

Tanker: Overly loud, indecipherable lyrics, female lead singer looking a bit skanky. Not worth much attention really.

The Girls: Despite containing no actual girls, this band boast the hottest pair of shoes (pointy, zebra skin) and visor (pink, glittery) I've seen in a long time. Their also overly loud and annoyingly long set had a glimmer of potential, but not enough to entice me away from
the comfort of the sofas.

God Love You For A Liar:
The main attraction. The band formerly known as Plasik really seem to be growing into their new incarnation, and becoming even more spellbinding on stage. New song, This Is Not A Sermon, may be the best I've heard yet, adding to their already impressive repertoire. I may have been saying this for years now, but after tonight's performance I'm even more certain that this is a band who truly deserve to go far - now we just have to hope that the management present last night agree with me.

THIRTEEN SENSES + LUKE TOMS

Scala, 26 March 2007

There are a few essential rules a girl needs for survival: look both ways before crossing the road, always use protection, and never ever trust a man with a moustache. Especially not a man with a moustache and eyes that scream “I’m deranged”. With that in mind, I watched Luke Toms’ set with a sense of apprehension. I couldn’t shake the feeling that his bouncy blues and heartfelt love songs were all just a ruse to lull us into a false sense of security before doing something inherently evil. But whatever my insecurities, Mr Toms and his band definitely pleased the crowd, with songs ranging from happy making, Mika-esque Hold This Thought, the first pop song I can remember containing the phrase ‘Holy cow’, to the darker, more introspective Hangover Blues. Luke definitely won himself some new fans tonight.

Tonight’s gig was advertised as “Thirteen Senses promote their forthcoming album”, and that’s undoubtedly the best way to describe their set, with more songs played from the as-yet-unreleased Contact than anything else. As a casual observer, this didn’t bother me at all, but it left a bitter taste in the mouth of many loyal fans, who have grown remarkably attached to debut album The Invitation in the years since it’s release. Except for one man – rewarded for his jumping efforts with a copy of the new album a week before anyone else can get their hands on it – fans found it hard to feel involved with the completely unknown new tracks. Never have I seen a band so desperate to plug their album, which will work against Thirteen Senses. Their insistence on shoving the album into our faces and urging us to buy it at every opportunity actually turned off many fans who were previously looking forward to buying Contact.

Despite this, tonight’s set wasn’t short of attractions. A criticism frequently levelled at Thirteen Senses, often without any really consideration, is that they’re ‘bland’. Yes, they may be mellower than your average band, but their beautiful songs, hypnotising and powerful live, pack a strong emotional punch. Without my judgement clouded by obsession with The Invitation, I can assure you that the new album is very impressive, especially the epic Under The Sun. In fact, if there weren’t any die-hard fans around to hit me, I’d say this album’s better. Thirteen Senses have rocked up a bit, and it suits them. However, the obvious highlights of the set were still their biggest singles. During Thru The Glass, with the impressive light show going, gorgeous and multitalented frontman Will South thrashing around and the crowd chanting along, the atmosphere was unbeatable. If only Thirteen Senses had played more of their classics, fans would have left enchanted rather than disappointed.

The Devil & God Are Raging Inside Me - Brand New

Everyone has one special album, the one album that speaks to them, that feels like it's their thoughts put to music. For me, The Devil & God... is that album.

Due to frontman Jesse Lacey being admitted to hospital, among many other setbacks, Brand New's loyal fanbase have had to wait a long time for this album, but it was most definitely worth the wait. Brand New were once just another Long Island scene band; their first album, Your Favourite Weapon, brimming with teen angst and lust. With Deja Entendu they definitively left high school behind, blending haunting melodies and brutally honest lyrics. Noone ever imagined that Brand New could mature more than they did for Deja Entendu, but this highly anticipated third album proved us all wrong.

The Devil & God Are Raging Inside Me does exactly what it says on the tin. Packed with references as diverse as the Bible and the Godfather, the album sees Jesse grappling with the big issues - morality, mortality and whether we really are all alone in the world. He questions the power and corruption of religion, with songs like The Archers Bows Have Broken, criticising the hypocrisy of the Bible Belt ("Beating with a book everyone the book tells you to love"), while at the same time praying that there is someone out there to look after him. Yet despite the great philosophical issues raised by the lyrics, they still feel so personally relevant. There are many fans who believe that the songs are about love and relationship problems, and that's the beauty of the lyrics - you can interpret them however you want to. "I will die all alone", could just as easily be depression after being dumped or realising that God isn't watching over you after all. The most moving song on the album is Limousine. Although it tells the tragic story of seven-year-old Katie Flynn, killed by a drunk-driver on the day of her aunt's wedding, it has a refrain that everyone can identify with: "I love you so much, do me a favour, baby, don't reply, 'cause I can dish it out, but I can't take it".

The real strength of The Devil... however, isn't its lyrics, but the music. There's just something about it that stirs every emotion. Heartbreakingly beautiful moments are followed by a cacophony that makes you believe the Devil & God really are at war somewhere deep inside your brain. If you listen to the beginning of You Won't Know enough, you will start to think that you really are completely alone in the world, have Welcome To Bangkok on repeat for too long and you will slowly feel yourself going insane. The band have clearly been practicing in their absence, as their voices and playing have never sounded better.

Brand New have always stood out from the crowd with their intelligent lyrics and stirring music, but with this album they have entered a league of their own. A powerful, captivating, essential album.

Noize Pollution

Lured by the prospect of quality music just five minutes from my door, I head down to The Railway Pub, where up-and-coming SE London based record label, Eat With Your Eyes (www.myspace.com/eatwithyoureyesrecords) have organised a showcase of some of the best local talent. The night begins promisingly with Dead Media (www.myspace.com/deadmediaband). They may look weedy, but the noise that these Year 11s make is incredible. Ginger Spice is a short sharp burst of punk perfection, while Letters is pure sex in music form – it grabs hold of you and practically forces you to gyrate. Haters of Brian Molko will find singer Joe Quirke’s voice a bit grating at times, but their music more than compensates for this. Now if only they could ditch that annoying song that has stolen half of Smells Like Teen Spirit…

The next band, The Ebs (www.myspace.com/theebs1) are a little too metal for my liking, and very very hairy. Their performance is enjoyable enough, particularly their cover of The Hives’ Hate To Say I Told You So, but they seem too enamoured with their own rock ‘n’ roll excess; their jumping off amps and hanging from the rafters is too staged to be endearing. For any bands out there not wishing to make the same mistake as The Ebs, heed this advice: If your drummer has man-boobs, please don’t let him take his shirt off. The jiggling is frankly disturbing, and puts most people off their beer.

Scarred for life, I eagerly await Little Sid (www.myspace.com/littlesiduk), tonight with added bonus of Broadwalk’s charismatic frontman Mark Allen, covering for regular bassist Jim O’Doherty, who’s swanned off to Prague with his school choir. Opening with the addictive Overreaction, that screams hit single, the band easily catches the attention of the crowded pub. Their blatant love of playing their music is infectious, and combined with their cute banter with the fans, creates an amazing atmosphere. Little Sid are known for their quality indie covers, and tonight is no exception, with faultless versions of The Zutons’ Valerie and Reef’s Put Your Hands Up. The perfect simplicity of She Sings In Her Sleep’s chorus gets everyone singing along, but the real highlight of the night is Woman. The crowd shout the lyrics so loud that at times singer Jono Linden can’t even be heard, while guitarist Stuart Harris and drummer Andy Fox get everyone dancing crazily. At the end of their too-short set, the squealing from the crowd is deafening.

After all this excitement, The Pepys (www.myspace.com/thepepys) subdued tracks seem anticlimactic. Of course, they’re not bad - in fact, if you go to their MySpace right now, I promise you’ll be impressed – they’re just lacking the energy of the previous set. Half the venue clears out after Little Sid finish, which is a shame really, because The Pepys definitely deserve to be seen. If they’d been on earlier, I’m sure they would have been much more appreciated, but despite The Pepys being top of the bill, it’s clear who tonight’s real headliners are.

Tactician's Interview ('cause I can't get enough of them on this blog)

So, how do you think the single launch went?
We thought it went great. It was totally packed, pretty ladies in the front row and people kept shouting for more at the end. What more would you want. Very satisfying all in all.

How much were you affected by all the problems with sound?
The sound was not so much an issue during the gig. We got really stressed during sound check though. The Fly people fucked up the booking of the sound engineer. So they had to get someone in last minute. The poor fella had never worked there before and didn’t know where things were. Not really what you need when you got people cueing outside, waiting to get in. But Spiro did a great job and during the first song we knew it was going to be alright.

Going back to the beginning, how did The Tacticians come about?
The Tacticians are the songwriting partnership of me and my brother (Joe Jr.). We started writing together about 2 years ago and played gigs with ever changing line ups over this period. Al the bass player has been with us for a while now and Mark the drummer played with us on and off. We are turning more and more into a unit with this current line up. We released 2 singles on Dancing Giraffe Records and got more and more attention. Myspace features and some radio air play helped quite a bit.

You’ve become firm favourites with the likes of Jim Coulson from Kerrang Radio. How does it feel to finally be getting some media attention?
Of course it feels great to hear your songs on the radio. Jim is generally a man of great taste. It’s nice to be picked by him. It’s a bit odd at first but I feel one could easily get used to it. We work extremely hard and are totally committed to what we do. Media attention is a crucial thing and I believe we deserve it.

Do you get sick of people calling you The Tactitians? :P
Well it is more surprising to see how many people also in the music press can’t seem to write properly. We never thought it would create a problem when we picked the name. Just think of tactic and the spelling is so logical. It’s not tactit? It’s got nothing to do with mammary glands. Maybe man boobs in a few years time :-)

Do you have a favourite Tacticians song?
That’s a difficult one. We only play the songs we love. Naturally you are always more excited about the newer ones as they seem more fresh to you. Hardcore Porn is one of my all time favourites. I’m very proud of this one. It has the right amount of depth and lightness and a very commercial title.

You seem to have a lot more foreign fans than your average unsigned London band. At the launch party alone, I was surrounded by Spanish, French and German people. Any idea why the Europeans love you so much?
Have we? You know more than I do then. There’s such a high percentage of European foreigners living in London. Quite a huge chance they come to your gigs at some point. We’ve got a lot of French, German, Italian, Spanish....friends on MySpace as well as in real life but I’ve never noticed we had more at our gigs than other bands. If it’s so that’s great. Bring them on!!!

Finally, and most importantly, please tell me you have plans for an album!
Yep. We have piled up three albums worth of material by now. We are really ready to record our debut album. If everything goes to plan we should release something in spring. We are still negotiating but it looks like the album release might not be Dancing Giraffe Records anymore. :-)

THE TACTICIAN’S SINGLE LAUNCH PARTY @ THE FLY, NEW OXFORD ST., 8 NOVEMBER

Kate is (usually) busy doing hardcore porn…
…but she’s decided to take the night off to see The Tacticians, and she’s very happy that she did. The Tacticians seem to have achieved the impossible tonight; on a cold Wednesday night, they have single-handedly filled The Fly with enthusiastic young revellers to celebrate the release of their addictive double A-side single, Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys/Get A Move On. If that wasn’t a daunting enough prospect, the sound guy has just quit. I have to congratulate Spiros Contostavlos at this point, a lovely guy who manages the sound brilliantly on his first day working at the venue, but before the gig, The Tacticians are understandably nervous.

Of course, they have nothing to worry about. Their instantly catchy tunes and charming Internet and on-stage persona have won them hordes of fans who have flocked here to enjoy a rare hour long performance, mixing our favourite Tacticians tracks with a few classic covers, including Folsom Prison Blues. Opening with the insanely danceable double bill of Respectfully Proceeding and Dance Like Nobody’s Watching, The Tacticians soon get everyone moving. Next up is London’s Alright, which has become an anthem for The Tacticians’ fans, perfectly encapsulating everything we feel about our hometown. Ollie’s confession that the Mancunians don’t share our sentiments causes someone to spend the rest of the evening shouting “FUCK MANCHESTER”, just one example of the interaction between the band and the crowd. It’s clear that the band love their fans, and the feeling is mutual. As Ollie strides through the crowd, all eyes are on him, captivated by his dance moves that are just the right side of ‘drunken dad at a disco’.

I know it sounds clichéd, but in the midst of the current obsession with the scene, The Tacticians’ self-styled urban folk is something unique, something special. The band are genuinely fun, with songs like Ordinary People Will Always Let You Down and the ode to sex-toys & BDSM, Some Like It Odd, that would bring a smile to even the most miserable countenance. Don’t get me wrong though, they’re no novelty band, they just tell the truth, and they do it to music that begs to be danced to.

Final encore, Size, is completely riotous. The entire crowd, including people who quite clearly don’t speak much English, are united in shouting, “Don’t say size doesn’t matter!” along with the band, giggling all the while. The perfect ending to the perfect set. As Tapes ‘N’ Tapes’ Insistor begins to play, we’re left euphoric, still cheering, still revelling in the experience we’ve just shared. There’s an undeniable feeling that we’ve just witnessed the start of something big. XFM has proclaimed The Tacticians as "A band destined for greatness" and nowhere here would disagree. Bring on the album launch party!

WHY?!

Could someone please explain to me why venue owners, particularly in Camden, believe that someone 17 years, 11 months and 21 days old does not have the right to enjoy live music, while someone born just 10 days earlier does? Why they turn hardcore fans away in favour of people indifferent to the music?

For me, following my favourite unsigned bands is something I take very seriously; seeing one of them live is an incomparable experience, so it’s understandable that I’m pissed off about having to miss gigs due to strict IDing policies. After months of avoiding any gigs in Camden, today was the final straw. Plastik, my favourite unsigned band, who I’ve followed obsessively for two years now, have just adopted a new guitarist, so naturally I was brimming with excitement about seeing them. So, imagine my horror when I was greeted at the door of The Dublin Castle with “No ID, no entry”. I tried begging, I tried bribing, I tried promises of sexual favours, but nada. There were no words of consolation, no empathy of any kind, just “No ID, no entry” repeated mechanically, and angry expressions when I searched desperately for the band through the window, as if I would somehow jump through the glass, run straight to the bar, and order massive amounts of alcohol before reporting the club to the police for serving minors. Realising the futility of my actions, I was eventually persuaded by my friends to go for consolatory dough-balls, but only after shouting profanities in the bouncer’s gormless face.

How hard would it be for venues to start using a nifty stamp, along the lines of DO NOT SERVE THIS GIRL ALCOHOL, so that, if there ever were a raid (extremely unlikely anyway), there would not be the risk of them having their license revoked for serving the underage? Of course, it will never happen, no matter how much I complain. Why? Because venues makes more money from the sale of alcohol than the entrance money people pay to see bands, so encouraging the entrance of under 18s into the venue means their profit will fall. The net result is that people who just want to get pissed get to see bands they don’t even care about, while the real fans are left out in the cold.

I’ve always refused to buy a fake ID, as, thanks to a dodgy liver, I can’t actually drink alcohol. Why should I have to break the law just to be able to watch some indie scenesters strut around with guitars? Now, however, it seems like attempting to get hold of a fake passport is the only option available. Worse still, when I finally turn 18 in a few, torturously long months, there’s a possibility that some venues will start admitting over 21s only. By the time I’m eventually allowed into a gig in Camden, I’ll be too old to enjoy the music anymore!

“What’s the point of this long and rambling rant?” you ask. Well, it’s a call to arms. To repeat the old cliché, we need action and we need it now. Bands and fans have to get together to boycott these venues and promote places where under 18s are free to enjoy the music they love. Music should not be controlled by entrepreneurs who want to cash in on our collective alcohol addiction, but accessible to those willing to journey to the middle of nowhere for a glimpse of their favourite band.

The Tacticians - Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys/Get A Move On

Following the success of their first acclaimed single, London’s Alright/Hardcore Porn, The Tactician’s are back with more of their distinctive urban folk sound. Brothers Ollie & Joe Jr, who form the core of this London based band, have a soft spot for perfect three-minute pop songs about dangerous liaisons, temptation, failure, heartbreak & love in the big city, accompanied by soulful guitars, glockenspiel & sweet harmony vocals.

Inspired by countless arguments about Playstations and football, Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys deals with an undeniable fact of life. Listing girls’ influences as ‘James Dean, Vaseline…’, this song is guaranteed to raise a smile. Northern soul inspired Get A Move On kicks of with a repeated countryesque electric guitar riff that will be stuck in your head all day, and builds up to passionate vocals, pumping drums, horns and even a tambourine; if you’re not dancing then there’s something wrong with you. Bonus track Respectfully Proceeding is hypnotic and highly sexually charged, with lyrics that would seduce any girl.

Verdict: The Tacticians combine insanely catchy, danceable tunes with lyrics that everyone can identify with – you can’t help but get hooked!

The Holloways - So This Is Great Britain

Holloway Road isn’t short of attractions. Home to Emirates Stadium, and one my favourite venues, Nambucca; it now has something else to be proud of - The Holloways, whose debut album proves that they will soon be major contenders.

Opener Great Britain sets the tone for the whole album. A fucked-up version of all those songs you only ever hear on The Last Night Of The Proms (think ‘In the land of hope and glory/Do we really rule the waves?’), it’s a scathing critique of our modern culture and society, which at the same time affirms that living in Britain is still better than living anywhere else. It’s an inexplicable feeling that most of us can identify with, which is part of what makes this album so great.

The stand out track is the current, calypso-tinged single, Generator. Its simple, infectious happiness makes you forget all about the cold and rain, and bounce around chanting ‘I can get a generator and a record player and generate the music that makes you feel better’. Next up are a few tracks that unfortunately sound like filler, most notably Fit For A Fortnight, but following the tracks, previous single Two Left Feet and Reinvent Myself, are so good that you won’t remember the earlier disappointment.

In the midst of such riotous joy, the beautiful ballad Most Lonely Face is all the more poignant. It’s a touching tale of falling in love with a girl who ‘didn’t know if she had any soul left to save’. Don’t worry, though, you’ll soon be in high spirits again, thanks to the exuberant Happiness & Penniless, reminding us that it’s better to have fun than accumulate money, as ‘What’s the point of money if you’ve got no time to use it?’

There’s a bit more filler, and then the final track, Fuck Ups, a hilarious attack on the people of Britain, rhyming ‘Bin Laden’ with ‘hard on’, and singing about a 33-year-old grandma who’ll still be wearing fake Burberry when she’s 75. As the album draws to a close, you’ll be left with a massive smile.

Verdict: There may be a few filler tracks, but the stand out tracks more than make up for that. Great fun to banish the winter blues.

TBS - Liar (It Takes One To Know One)

Liar (It Takes One To Know One) should be a great song – it’s technically perfect, Adam Lazzara’s voice has rarely sounded better, and it has the intelligent, eloquent lyrics and overlapping vocals that have become Taking Back Sunday’s trademark. So why can’t I shake this nagging feeling that TBS just aren’t as good as they used to be? Why is Cute Without The E (Cut From The Team) so much better? Maybe it’s because this song is so linear, so conventional, compared to other TBS songs that start in one place and end somewhere completely different. Or maybe I just miss the teenage angst.

Verdict: A great jump around your room song, but disappointingly lacking the old TBS spark.

Battle - Back To Earth

After years of struggling to get noticed, it seems that Battle are finally hitting the big time. They were acclaimed at South By South West, being called “The best thing there” (ok…it was by The Sun, but it’s still true), and have become firm favourites with the likes of Zane Lowe & Marsha from XFM. With Back To Earth, Battle have collected a couple of their popular singles, as well as four new tracks, ahead of their debut album pencilled in for a release early next year.

Opener Wicked Owl, sounding just like a Departure song, draws you in with a riff that tears forwards then brakes suddenly and Jason Bavanandan's soaring vocals asking ‘Is this the person I am?’ Next up is Tendency, which recently got into the top 40 and was proclaimed ‘The hottest record in the world today’ by Zane Lowe. Bristling with desperation and longing, Bavanandan reminds a lost love that ‘I'm the boy who threw his arms around you’. Beautiful Dynasty carries on with this theme, with ‘All my sorrows I give to you/All my pain and wasted years’, yet is saved from the depths of emo-esque depression by an infectious revolving guitar riff.

Unfortunately, Isabelle reminds me of a girl I like to call Is-a-bore, which makes me want to hate it, but Battle are so good that I just can’t bring myself to skip the track. In fact, it’s one of the best tracks on this EP, and if it had any other name it’d be perfect!

Every track on the EP is of a consistently high standard. Final track Easy To Listen To, which ends with the most amazing guitar solo, sums up how I feel about Battle. They sound like a mixture of all your favourite indie bands, with a lyrical eloquence and energy that almost forces you to keep playing this EP on repeat.

Verdict: Dark but beautiful, it begs to be listened to. Bring on the debut album!

LOVE IS THE ONLY CERTAINTY

Liam Frost & The Slowdown Family @ The Fopp, Tottenham Court Road – Thursday 14 September

The new Fopp on Tottenham Court Road is heaven. When I die, it is where I want to end up, which makes it an oddly appropriate venue to see “Funerals with Frost” as 22-year-old Mancunian Liam Frost calls it. The loss of both his father and brother certainly has had a strong effect on Frost’s music, particularly the movingly beautiful Try Try Try, but don’t worry, it’s not all depressing. On-stage, Frost is like a big kid, revelling in the joy of performing, joking about the perils of singing from the diaphragm (for the unenlightened, it makes you burp) and inventing the T-shirt-hat, which will be the fashion accessory of 2007.

More than that, though, Frost’s emo-tinged lyrics have a sense of hope that makes his songs somehow uplifting, despite the poignant subject matter. In The Mourners Of St Paul’s, for example, “Let the funeral start” is sung with such optimism that you can’t help but think that no matter what happens, everything will be ok. Frost has been accused of being too introspective, but that is what makes his lyrics. They are universal because they are so personal. Musically, however, everyone is in agreement that Frost’s debut offering is stunning. If Tonight We Could Only Sleep is a particular highlight, with haunting backing vocals from Slowdown Family member, Sadie Baker.

After their breathtaking set, Liam Frost & The Slowdown Family are the most loveable people you could ever meet, engaging in joyful banter and group hugs with the fans, posing with the band-stalking lump of concrete known as Mr Brick, and attacking each other with silver pens. It’s only seeing this that you realise just how young Frost and his band mates are, how accomplished they already are, and how much potential they have. Is Liam Frost “the UK’s answer to Bright Eyes” as people are claiming he his? Honestly, no, but then, with so much talent of his own, who would want him to be?

Liam Frost & The Slowdown Family’s debut album, Show Me How The Spectres Dance, is available now on LaVolta.

Fuck The Cistern!

TOILET @ NAMBUCCA
Nambucca, 596 Holloway Road, London - Friday 18 August

The toilets at Nambucca are an obvious attraction, which would require a whole article for itself. However, stories of bouncers wrestling drunken fans in pools of piss will sadly have to wait for another day, as, despite its misleading name, Toilet is about so much more than the goings on in graffiti-covered cubicles. It is, in fact, a roomful of gorgeous indie kids flailing to four amazing bands. What more could a girl want?

The entertainment starts as soon as we walk through the door, with a man, who’d clearly been in the North London pub for a while already, table dancing - just a sample of what is to come over the course of the night. Before long, William Kay (www.myspace.com/williamkay) start the evening properly with their Libertines-esque tunes. Their introduction to Bonnie & Clyde – “This is Bonnie & Clyde, which was also a film, and a song by Jay-Z, so it must be good”, thumbs up, cute smile – leaves all the girls swooning, and by ending their set with a raucous version of I Wanna Be Like You from The Jungle Book they keep us big-kids very happy.

Next up is Awful Sparks (www.myspace.com/awfulsparks), whose short sharp bursts of ‘office funk’, as they like to call it, including the ridiculously catchy International Toughguy, are so much fun to dance to, and to watch, as singer Patrick thrashes around with infectious enthusiasm. They are clearly having so much fun that we can’t help enjoying ourselves too, especially when Patrick finally gives in to the crowd’s demands and removes his shirt.

Friends of the Sparks, Oxford five-piece The Mules (www.myspace.com/itsthemules), then take to the stage, but have trouble getting the aforementioned table-dancer, who has now taken to pretending he owns Nambucca, away from the microphone. Eventually, they get the chance to play, and it’s so worth the wait. The Mules say they “enjoy both kinds of music, country and western”, and this way of story telling has clearly had an effect on their lyrics, but their songs pack much more of a punch than any country and western act. With hits like Polly-O and Tule Lake, taken from their recently released album, Save You Face (buy it now!), they work the crowd up into a throbbing, sweaty frenzy, leaving us feeling euphoric and the floor so wet it becomes a safety hazard.

After a brief break, when we all desperately intake liquids, the moment I have been waiting for for weeks finally arrives. Any band labelled by Carl Barât as “like The Sex Pistols meets The Cheeky Girls” is bound to be brilliant, and Crash Convention (www.crashconvention.com) do not disappoint. Opening with their latest addictive demo, Pirates, Crash Convention capture the crowd, and leave us enthralled until the end. The fans, like myself, shout the words along with the band that they clearly love, and the sense of community this creates is incredible. Songs from the hauntingly beautiful St Catherine’s Oratory to the energetic, feel-good next single Abandon Ship, combined with the band’s stage presence, and overwhelming likeability, set them apart from the hordes of current indie scene bands, ensuring that Crash Convention are destined for great things.

The night ends on a toilet theme, with a DJ set from Fuck The Cistern, and we leave exhausted and dishevelled, but extremely happy, having seen some of the best new bands in London at the moment.